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The preacher was talking at length about the good traits of the deceased, what an honest man he was, and what a loving husband and kind father he was. Finally, the widow leaned over and whispered to one of her children, “Go take a look in the casket and see if that’s your dad.” |
While filling out an employment application, a man paused over this question: “Person to notify in case of an accident.” Finally he wrote, “Anybody in sight.”
Found in a fortune cookie:
“You are a poor, pathetic, gullible fool who seeks advice from bakery
products.”
One morning at the school nurse’s office, a woman with curlers in her hair, wearing pajamas, sat at the entrance. “Why are you dressed like that?” asked the nurse. “I told my son,” the lady explained, “that if he ever did anything to embarrass me, I would embarrass him back. He was caught cutting school. So now I’ve come to spend the day with him!”
In a grocery store a cashier held up a small dairy carton and yelled to a co-worker, “How much is half-and-half?” Without a moment’s hesitation the other cashier replied, “One.”
A teenager was headed to school one morning when his mom told him that his shirt’s neck tag was hanging out. “I know,” he replied. “It’s a fad some of us guys started.” Weeks later, as the style persisted, his mother com-mented, “I can’t stand it! Every time I see that, I want to fix it for you,” as she gently tucked the tag in place and rumpled his hair. “Yeah,” he said smiling slyly. “All the girls do, too.”
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