April 2005 Overnight Lite Discarded Jokes

The winner has been named in the worldwide search for the perfect man. After careful consideration and endless debate, the Perfect Man has been named. MR.POTATO HEAD: He’s tan. He’s cute. He knows the importance of accessorizing. And if he looks at another girl, you can rearrange his face.


Each evening a bird lover stood in his backyard, hooting like an owl, when one night, an owl called back to him. For a year, the man and his feathered friend hooted back and forth. Tom even kept a log of the “conversation.” Just as he thought he was on the verge of a breakthrough in interspecies communication, his wife had a chat with her next-door neighbor. “My husband spends his nights calling out to owls,” she said. “That’s odd,” the neighbor replied. “So does my husband.” Then it dawned on them.


You know you’re getting old when you’re asleep, but others worry that you’re dead.


A woman went into a hardware store to purchase a bale of peat moss. She gave a personal check in payment and said to the clerk, “I suppose you will want some identification.” He replied, without hesitation, “No ma’am, that won’t be necessary.” “How come?” asked the woman. “Crooks don’t buy peat moss,” answered the clerk.


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