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Sign in a laundromat: Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out. |
A mother of three boys eloquently explained her take on life: A young child is a noise with dirt on it.
The top three requests for vehicle air freshener scents for men were listed as sawdust, three-year-old baseball cap, and freshly moved dirt.
Mike opened an account with a neighborhood florist, providing instructions and dates on which he wanted flowers sent to his wife. With each delivery, a note was attached, signed, "Your loving husband." His wife was thrilled by this new display of affection. All was going well until one day when Mike came home and, noticing a bouquet on the table, asked, offhandedly, "Nice flowers, honey. Where'd you get them?"
A U.S. Coast Guard pilot was on an exchange tour in an unnamed foreign country. Everyone who drove through the base's gates was required to hold an official ID card up to the windshield for inspection by the guards. As a friendly competition, my husband's squadron started flashing different forms of ID, such as a driver's license, just to see how far they could go to fool the busy guards. The winner was a fellow who breezed past waving a piece of toast.
When the Jones family moved into their new house, a visiting relative asked five-year-old Sammy how he liked the new place. "It's terrific!" he said. "I have my own room, Mike has his own room, and Jamie has her own room. But poor Mom is still in with Dad."
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